Help! The Zombies Want to Attack My Business!

Published: October 19, 2016  by 

Winter is coming and your digital business is under a zombie attack! Whether you know it or not, zombie viruses, spyware, and malware are at the gates of your site, and it’s a full on apocalypse of Cialis and Viagra ads.

To make sure your online business isn’t overrun, you need someone to stand guard at the gates 24/7 and scream like Gandalf into the heavens that no zombies shall pass!

Your Business is Being Attacked

Your online presence and even physical location are being attacked by zombies. Zombies don’t mean to attack your business, but they want brains, brains, brains. And trust us, you have the brains.

And honestly, you can’t be the bouncer 24/7 of your online presence. You would hire someone else for that, right? You may have taken 4 years of karate, but the zombies are all somehow experts in Jujitsu.

Your business online has a lot of similarities to your physical business. Both need locks. Both need cameras. And both need someone watching those locks and cameras. Plus you need some kind of insurance or a way to undo the damage.

We realize that this can all get kind of expensive, but if you don’t pay for security, someone will eventually break in. Even outside of zombies breaking in, an asteroid could suddenly aim its sights on your business. And without insurance, you would have to rebuild everything from scratch.

Your Online Security

If we already haven’t beaten it to death, you need to treat your online business the same as your physical one.

You need maintenance. You need security. You need monitoring. And most of all, you need insurance, which online means backups.

So what would a comprehensive security and maintenance plan look like?


You’ll likely need someone to help keep your website online. This might be dealing with those technical folks in the hosting and domain department. This might be helping you upload a photo or changing out a link. It could be some advice or consulting.

Most importantly, this means updates! Updates, updates, updates! You must keep your website up-to-date to keep those zombies out.

You are more than welcome to take care of maintenance tasks, but you have a business to run! And if something goes wrong, you need experts who can take charge.

Sites such as Maintainn and WP Site Care both have great reputations and will help you out with all of your maintenance needs. If you want to use your agency (and we don’t blame you), ask them! Most agencies have affordable maintenance plans.


We can’t recommend VaultPress and Sucuri enough. With VaultPress, get the highest plan. It comes with malware and security scanning.

With Sucuri, install the security scanner plugin. It practically logs everything and has great notifications. Think of VaultPress and Sucuri together as your 24/7 bouncer.

Should your site ever get hacked, Sucuri is the first place you should call.

We also recommend Jetpack, but you’ll need a account (it’s free and well worth it). Jetpack has a killer brute protection module that prevents those zombies from even knocking on your door.

Getting too much spam? Try Akismet. It integrates with most form solutions, including our favorite form plugin Gravity Forms.

While still on the topic of security, we recommend you take your site full HTTPS. Most hosts offer Let’s Encrypt, and for most sites, it’s a relatively quick migration.


Why do we recommend VaultPress and Sucuri so much? Because both provide monitoring.

Sucuri will let you know what’s been updated, who’s logging in, and how many people are trying. VaultPress will monitor your files, alert you if your site is down, and alert you if anyone is trying to hack in.

Insurance, AKA Backups

You need insurance. Backups are your insurance. VaultPress is the only backup solution we trust completely.

Never trust your host to have backups. Never. With one exception.


Hosting is where you set up your online retail space. Ideally, you’d like a corner location, not one buried in the back of some ghost-town shopping center.

Don’t go for the cheapest host. Go for one that won’t immediately collapse if three or more people decide to visit the site at once.

It’s never too late to change hosts, and WP Engine is the only host we 100% recommend for everyone. It has a foolproof backup and restore system, and it’s a developers dream to work with. Most of all, it’s the coveted corner retail space where you can place your business.

Web hosting matters, and you get what you pay for.


We all know zombies love brains. They also love passwords. And the zombies desperately want yours.

Password123 won’t cut in anymore. Think of your password as a key to your business. You only give keys to whom you trust, correct?

Enforce strong passwords. And never remember them. Use a password manager such as 1Password to ensure there is no way in wildfire that someone can use your password besides you.

Prevent Infection in the Zombie Apocalypse

You’ve always heard that prevention is the best medicine, right? Your online business is the same way. We cannot emphasize being proactive enough. Treat your website as an extension and equal of your physical business.

Winter is here folks, and the white walkers (ahem, zombies) are out in force. Work with an agency such as us to keep those zombies out and your online business working for you rather than against you.